I am very proud to say that I am a holder of
The Man Card. Now you may ask, what precisely is the Man Card? Of course if you ask that, you must not be a card carrying member. But I think the Man Card is an important thing for all men to hold. Really the Man Card itself isn't necessarily anything important and it's certainly more of a figurative thing than anything actually tangible. The Man Card, however, is evidence that
you are a man. Of course I think you typically know if you're a card carrying member or not. You recognize your
brute manliness and realize that
you are in fact a man.
A Man Card is earned, not bestowed upon an individual as a gift. I think the first important qualification is you do in fact have to be male. I'm sorry ladies, that may break your hearts, but at best you can only earn honorable mention for manliness. The core of what earns you a Man Card I think is found in
all of the things that makes little boys tick. Is it gross? It's probably manly and can you get a card. Does it
scratch? Yeah, that's pretty manly. Got some gnarly scars?
Chicks dig scars and
chicks definitely dig Man Card Holders. Do you
roughhouse? Sometimes you gotta fight to earn that card, but earn it you will. Almost as great as picking on little brothers. Is it some crazy contraption you built with your mad
MacGyver skills? Definitely gets you a card. Are you
covered in hair? Count yourself a member. Is it dirty (and I mean that in the
Mike Rowe Dirty Jobs kind of way)? Nothing we like more than being covered in dirt, count yourself in.
Sports? Do you really need to ask? Oh and don't forget
really great music. Also, good lingo, e.g. manformation-information useful to men (Hat Tip: Carson's Jordan, yeah, that's definitely a card carrying man right there) or the establishment of
Man Law (hopefully if you were involved in such an action, it wasn't because you took actions that would bring into question any sort of Man Laws). Also, a Man Card holder is always a
man's man.
Now I don't think a Man Card can ever really be revoked, I mean if you're manly enough to hold the card, you wouldn't be unmanly enough to ever lose it. Of course that doesn't mean men can't have
a softer, gentler side. Seriously, there's nothing wrong with
being a bit cultured. Also, I am very big on the respecting of women (but we won't really delve into that here, that's a topic for another day). A real man is always a
gentleman. Keep it classy, that's my philosophy. However, at the end of the day remember you are a man and so treat yourself right. Come home and celebrate with
a nice belch.
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